“You’re not smart enough” “you’re not good enough” “you’re not strong enough”
Sub-consciously, and hidden all the way in the back of my mind, thoughts like these have haunted me. They we’re engrained into every cell of my being, so deep that I believed in them. As a result, I was paralyzed by my fear. I feared failure, I feared judgement, I even feared success. So, there I stood still, for many years as life passed me by.
Now, this is a story of a regular ol’ small town girl growing up with a seemingly normal life. I was popular, I was athletic, I was pretty. I did not suffer from what society deems, any traumatic experiences. I am not special, nor am I regular.
I am human.
We all have experienced minor incidences throughout childhood, which have shaped who we are, and what we’ve accomplished today. Friends or Family may have said hurtful things to you as a child (which may have even been brushed off at the time), which in turn, planted a seed. That seed, was then replayed (or watered) over and over in your mind, until you believed that seed to be true and real. This “reality” that you now carry around with you as an adult, weighs you down and stops you dead in your tracks.
Here are the first steps I took in healing these old wounds and old beliefs so that you can finally break free from being stuck, lost and confused.
Step 1) Realizing the UN-TRUTHS
This is how life works.
Thoughts –> Feelings –> Beliefs –> Actions or Un-actions.
Thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to beliefs, which lead to action or un-action.
This idea in your head that you are choosing to believe, is stopping you from reaching your goals, dreams and desires. And, It all started out as nothing more than a thought. You THOUGHT someone didn’t like you. You THOUGHT he chose someone else over you. You THOUGHT you weren’t worthy.
Just by being aware of how this works is healing in itself. It takes the power behind these beliefs away, knowing that all it was, way back when – was just a thought – who said anything about it being true? It was 100% UN-TRUE.
Step 2) Forgiving – everyone, including yourself
Finding forgiveness is the tricky part.
I find it helpful to write out forgiveness letters anytime I feel like I need deeper healing from the past. Getting it all out on paper is a release, and expressing your forgiveness is freeing.
Start by writing letters to your friends or family members (don’t worry – you’re not actually going to deliver them) and then finish with yourself. Express kindness, and understanding in your letters, to anyone (again, including yourself) for placing these thoughts, feelings and beliefs onto you. Let the tears flow, then rip it up and throw it in the trash.
DONE. GONE. YOU ARE FREE.
(this might actually take a few different times, depending on how deep the healing needs to go)
Step 3) Replace with TRUTHS
Now, it’s the fun part! You get to re-write your truths. Deep down you know what they are, they were always inside of you, they were just being covered up by the un-truths.
Spend time getting to know yourself. Journal, and ask yourself who am I? What have I accomplished? What am I proud of? What do I value?
Prove to yourself, that you are what you know you are. Make a list of all the characteristics you love about yourself, and the evidence to show that it is true. This is who you REALLY are.
Ex) I am LOVE because I show, and give love to my friends and family
I am POWERFUL because I’ve never given up. I am still en route to success
I am FREE because I no longer care what others think about me
Comment below, and let me know what you think. Or message me privately if you need any more support!
Cheers to the good life,